The uncertain world

No words to describe , what exactly is happening with me, my life.
Why are we so dependent on others for everything in life?
Why cant one just be by himself?
This interdependence is what is life all about. At times, I keep wondering why do we really need security in life?
Why does one feel insecure about anything?
How does one feel completely secure?
Life is so uncertain yet we keep striving hard to look for certainty in life, something that one can hardly find.
We love, we care, we share, we smile, we laugh, we weep . God has kept a balance of all this in our lives. Yet each one of us keep complaining about life. There is a close friend of mine, rather, "the love of my life" who always says, I wish why do we wish so much????
This is so true for all of us. Why cant one be satisfied with one's life?
We always do wish for more and more and when our wishes don't get fulfilled, we complain.
I too wish to see some certainty in life. I am happy enough with the set of  special people in my life... but why cant they be stable in my life, why does one go away or even try to come even more closer.
These small things matter a lot. I had promised myself to be upfront enough to people so that I don't get hurt or feel sad about anything in the course of dealing with people. But this is like a task for me. I just cant do it and even if I do, I see to it that I undo the same somehow. A very close friend had once told me that learn to say no, learn to speak out your views and opinions , which I do to some extent but when it comes to expectations of my people from me, I cant really compromise on that, I want to meet each of their expectations. But again, not at the cost of hurting myself.
But I end up doing that .
Why is one not sure enough about things?
Why does confusion exist in this world?
All of a sudden , it seems like, I am buried under a heap of rocks of confusion
 and there is no way i can come out of it.
I want to breathe free, i want to escape from this discomfort.
I want to live a simple life, no complications involved.
I don't wish to run away from my problems, I am ready to face them all, but yes I want this to end soon.
I wish to get a solution to all of this.
I do not want to discuss about all of this to anyone.
I do not want to crib over and over again.
I do not want to be a pain in someone's life.
If I were wrong somewhere, I am really sorry for it.
I just wish to be strong enough to say a No, and with that and I do not wish to hurt my loved one's.
I hope I soon get over this with feeling.

Well i never thought about this one

As life goes, we grow, we learn, we discover, we built relationships. Each of these relationships mean different to us. May be all are not that important yet each of it becomes a part of our life. I have built one such relationship. Its hardly been 6 months that i know her, my very good friend. It is really difficult to describe what exactly is the relationship that i share with her but i know 1 thing , I cant really imagine my life without her. Its not that she is the only one close friend i have but the bond we share is something different which i haven;t ever had with anyone not even my boyfriend for that matter. Although i realized that she has become so very important to me , I still can't figure out what is that 1 thing which makes her so different from the entire world or even my bunch of close friends for that matter.All i know is, just the thought of meeting  her makes me happy. I am excited to talk to her each day. I really thank God from the bottom of my heart to send her in my life.All is going great, i am happy with her but there is one thing i never thought of....

I never thought of this until she made me realize about it that, this can be the happy phase of our relationship as it is just the beginning and may be the bad is to come in future. Well, i wont say we can never fight or have arguments. All relationships have  its ups and downs. But I am sure we both together can overcome all the storms . All this is okay and if she thought so, there is nothing wrong about it. Still, i somehow cant digest this. Although i took it quite casually when she mentioned about this, the fact is that i cant somehow get over what she said. It is just on  my subconscious mind . I was and in fact I am right now living the present happily, but now the time to come(future of our relationship) is affecting me a bit. I am still sure all is going to be perfect. "Touch wood" for the bond  we share. I want to have her in my life forever for selfish reasons of-course, because i love her a lot and her arms are the perfect comfort zone for me and I want it to be the same always. Again, it is going to be the same and we would be there for each other through thick and thin's ..... :)So don't worry, the future is going to be great... :*

Hieeee! Rite now, I m unaware about what am I going to write. I m new here but i am sure, you will be my friend soon. 

Not that i am very good at making friends but i m not that bad too ;).

So.......... donno why but yes i am shy!!! as its a new relationship in my life. I will take some time to open up to you. Let me tell you one thing, some really really special friend introduced you to me.So thanks to that special friend for introducing us to each other, And yes although you have an important place in my life , I am warning you never try to replace that special friend of mine because your efforts will definitely go in vain.... Anyway it was nice meeting you. We will surely keep in touch. :)

Bye Goodnight tc :)